Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My brush with greatness

Now that the Michael Jackson hoopla has died down somewhat, I can tell my story. Or rather, since it has for some reason only now occurred to me that it might be worth a laugh to blog about it, I’ll do so. Yes, I met Michael Jackson.

It was the mid-1980s and I was working in a movie theater in the San Fernando Valley. Some Disney movie had just been re-released – I think it was Snow White, or Pinocchio. It was a slow summer weekday afternoon when he came in, with two bodyguards, to see it. (The man-child thing was a theme even then.) Few people were in the theater at the time, but naturally his presence caused a bit of a stir among those who were – this was just post-Thriller.

We had two encounters. (No cheap jokes, please; besides, I was all grown up by then, so...) First, when he came out of the restroom before the movie started, I happened to be putting up a rope line, within the theater, in preparation for some later movie. He nearly walked right into me and exclaimed, in startled falsetto, “Which way do I go?” Stifling a laugh, I pointed him in the right direction.

In those days, before the movie started, they used to show a promo for the Will Rogers Institute, asking for donations. The lights would come up, one of us ushers would go from row to row with a can collecting whatever people felt like giving, and then the regular trailers would resume. On duty that day, I had the honor of taking his donation. As I recall, he peered up over his sunglasses and, once again in falsetto, asked “Is this for Will Rogers?” as he handed it to me. I think it was all of a dollar. (Did I mention this was post-Thriller?)

And that was it, folks. If you’ve read this far, I’m sorry I can’t give you the last minute of your life back.

By the by, if you take a ride in Doc Brown’s time machine back to circa 1984 and pop into Mann Valley West so as to witness my historic meeting with the King of Pop, do NOT eat the nachos. One of my co-workers was, shall we say, something of a prankster. ‘Nuff said.

Next in this exciting series: I see John Larroquette at a gas station in Studio City!


  1. Can't wait for that next installment. ;-)

    I'd tell you about the time I walked right past Wilt Chamberlain at LAX, but I'm not sure your heart could stand it....

  2. my sister is thrilled that one of her friends knows an actor with a Minor part in the Harry Potter films :)

  3. I almost got beat down by Oliver McCall (heavyweight who beat Lennox Lewis & then cried himself to a DQ in their rematch).

    Outside of The Palace of Auburn Hills in 2000. Mike Tyson just got down with Andrew Golota.
    We were all standing around outside.
    I saw McCall, I gave him a compliment which for some reason he took as an insult and was ultimately pulled back by security guard from pummeling me.

    He was a 6'3 heavyweight champion professional boxer.
    I was a 5'8 155lb weakling.

    Scariest day of my life.

  4. I once spent about two hours as part of the security detachment for Alice Cooper.

    This was in the mid ninties. Every year in downtown Denver, a certain production company would set up a haunted house called "Brutal Planet." Alice Cooper agreed to promo it and lend his name to the project, and on some nights he would be there signing autographs.

    Anyway, when I was 16 I had an after-school job as a security guard at this huanted house. I was lucky enough to be assigned to Alice's room, and spent a few hours holding back his throngs of adoring fans.

  5. Black & White by Michael Jackson:

    Azure Lake by ???? from Sonic 3:

    Black & White overlaid by Azure Lake:

    Hmmm... could it be?

    "Stranger in Moscow" by Michael Jackson:

    Sonic 3 Ending Song by ???:

    "Stranger in Moscow" overlaid with Sonic 3 Ending:

    Do you really think that...?


  6. While I'm at it, I have some very good reasons to tell you why you should be skeptical of the pedophilia accusations.

    * In 2002, MTV called Jackson and told him that he had won the "Artist of the Millennium" award. Jackson showed up to the MTV event. He did not get the award. What happened was this. Britney Spears showed up to give him a birthday cake and everyone in the music industry who was present mocked Jackson and called him an idiot for believing that there was an "Artist of the Millennium" award. Hollywood hated Jackson furiously. So these Hollywood movies like Leaving Neverland that are coming out are not coming from an impartial source. They're coming from people who despised Michael with all of their hearts.

    * They once raided Neverland Ranch looking for child porn. They found none whatsoever. and and .If he was a pedophile, he would be the first pedophile ever who didn't have any child porn.